DO drag yourself through frosh-o and make it known to other squirming freshman that you would like to go out after the scavenger hunt. . . . DON’T wear your Club Fever clothes anywhere but Club Fever. . . . DO head to the South Bend Salvation Army to find vintage Notre Dame apparel instead of buying the expensive stuff at the bookstore. . . . DON’T wear ND sweatpants, an ND hoodie, ND flip-flops, an ND hat and an ND ring all in the same day. One at a time, please. . . . DO study abroad and blame all future encounters with du Lac on “reverse culture shock.” . . . DON’T TUI — text under the influence. Delete if it’s too late, to prevent self-loathing in the morning. . . . DO check out the brutal student reviews of prospective professors on NDToday. . . . DON’T be caught by sidewalk watering sprinklers as you head to a dorm party. . . . DO form a personal relationship with your cabbie. We suggest Dudley, Jesus or Goldie. . . . DO convince your cab driver to take you through the McDonalds drive-through for a post-party snack. . . . DON’T use Facebook to chronicle your underage drinking habits and “friend” your professor. . . . DO allot time in your schedule for the course “Intro to Jazz.” . . . DON’T tell us in your “away” message that you are sneezing, burping, bathing or sleeping. . . . DO skip class to take a dip in the Turtle Creek swimming pool on the three sunny days of the year. . . . DON’T allow your popcorn to set off the fire alarm at 3 a.m. and become an enemy of your dorm. . . . DO master the art of the day party: Slip ‘N Slide, relay races and Nattie Light. . . . DON’T jeopardize your social life by staking out a study spot in the library two weeks before finals. . . . DO smuggle your next snack, fork or plate from the dining hall. . . . DON’T attempt waffle irons, frying pans and pies. . . . DO walk across the quad to avoid an awkward run-in with a Facebook “unfriend.” . . . DON’T trust the broccoli salad being sold at Reckers the day after you saw it in the Dining Hall. . . . DO take your date to Legends on your swipe. Thank you, Mom and Dad.
Compiled by Kristen Dold ’09